Sunday, November 2, 2008

Delays

I've pretty much spent the whole day so far looking at law school blogs and cruising lawschoolnumbers.com to ascertain my chances for admission at a top school, when I should be polishing my independent study project, which is due tomorrow, one last time. I should also be trying to figure out a way to pay for my classes this semester and next semester since my financial aid package has been revoked and with my luck, the appeal will be rejected. I am overwhelmed, to say the least.

I tend to overload myself to keep busy, because I don't do well with idle time. I need to have a bunch of things going on to keep myself from getting bored or distracted by the regular routine. The problem, of course, is that I inevitably bite off more than I can chew and make myself sick trying to keep up with myself, but it all works out somehow in the end. It just doesn't help me relax, and actually causes more stress. For example, I am carrying 20 credits this semester plus a 4 credit independent study project that has been carried over from the summer. I'm also the President of the Pride Alliance, the Coalition for Women's Rights, and the Political Science Students Association in addition to my hairbrained idea to start an LSAT Prep Club two weeks ago. So, being the President of 4 clubs and a member of about 5 others is a lot of fun, but also a lot of work. I am too committed to all of them to cut back on anything, so I just add it to the long list of things I need to do. I usually handle everything pretty well, but every once in a while major priorities for each thing fall in the same week and I go nuts trying to make sure everything gets done, and well. This is one of those weeks. Actually, one of those months. Law school applications have taken more time than I anticipated, and even though I started preparing really early, there are countless little last-minute things to finish before sending everything off and, in so doing, losing what little control I have over this whole process.

I know I need to just get a grip on myself and let go of the material I'm sending, but it is pretty scary putting all of my hopes and dreams for our future in the hands of nameless, faceless admissions committees across the country. I'll never stop making minor adjustments though, so I have committed myself to sending everything out tomorrow. Hence, the finalization freak-out today.

By now it should be apparent that I should not be blogging right now. I'm going to go get some things done, now that I've berated myself sufficiently.

5 comments:

3L Wannabe said...

Looks like I may be taking your comment cherry....

So when are you taking the LSAT? Have you done many of the prep tests? Have you gotten your personal statement started?

I'm probably just exacerbating the stress of law school admissions, but I remember very well that it consumed much of my headspace, despite having a fairly busy life outside of law school stuff. Feel free to drop in and chat - and bon chance!

Lauren said...

Thanks!

I took the LSAT in October and I did fairly well on it. I am disappointed because I got perfect scores on the last several practice tests I took before the real exam, but only got in the low 170s on the actual LSAT. I am seriously considering taking it again in December, but I'm not sure if I should bother, since it will be nearly January by the time my scores come in, which is late in the admissions cycle.

My applications are basically done. I'm just waiting for LSDAS to receive my letters of rec. before sending everything off! I can only revise my personal statement so many times, I guess, so I'm going to have to let it go...

I mostly just want to know where I'm going! So much of my future is in limbo until I find out. I'm looking forward to being in your shoes!

3L Wannabe said...

I remember all too well the waiting, and wondering, and crunching the odds and numbers and all the rest. Everyone told me not to stress, not read ahead, to take it easy and have fun, but I think by nature most people going into law school are not necessarily "take it easy" types. You start any prep reading yet? After you release that personal statement and decide about LSAT retakes, let me know and I can tell you the reading that helped me, and made me crazier ;-)

Zach said...

hey, found you through lsn. Nice to find another queer, especially one who wants to do impact litigation or other public interest work.

i'm super stressed about law schools, but my reason for not talking about it so much is more that the people in my circle all have pretty similar number, and we're really competing against each other. I work at the Legal Aid Society in New York City, and half of our floor is applying this year. While we're not all interested in the same schools, there are certainly overlaps, and having similar resumes could hurt us. but who knows?! maybe they want lots of people with public interest experience. and by "they" I mean Yale. Right.
My girlfriend's totally sick of hearing this stuff. She's in grad school at CUNY and has her own PhD to worry about. Not as stressful as Renee's health, but still a lot.
oh--i'm LAS on lsn. And strauss on livejournal, if you have that.
Good luck to you!

Lauren said...

Thanks 3l - I don't think I'm going to take the LSAT again after all. I should have just taken it in June, but our life was so crazy at the time I thought it would be better to wait. I know you and your family were moving when you took yours - Lucky you did well! I'd love your reading list, it may help satisfy my need for some sense of control!

Hi Zach! It sounds like you have a pretty interesting job, and I am frankly jealous of the slightly competitive environment you have. My numbers aren't totally astronomical and I'm not conceited at all, but I'm head and shoulders above everyone I know in real life and not a single one of them is applying to any of the same schools as I am except for my fallbacks. I honestly think the competition would be good for me. LSN is a bit of a wake-up call though, so that helps increase my stress level, lol. I'm thinking about making a livejournal, several people have mentioned that they use it. I haven't had one since high school! Thanks for popping by, I'll be sure to check you out on LJ. And maybe Yale will want us all - there may seem like a bunch of us, but I think its because our community is relatively small. We're definitely under-represented in the Ivy League, though - they should be chasing us! We should be so lucky, huh? Good luck!