I've pretty much spent the whole day so far looking at law school blogs and cruising lawschoolnumbers.com to ascertain my chances for admission at a top school, when I should be polishing my independent study project, which is due tomorrow, one last time. I should also be trying to figure out a way to pay for my classes this semester and next semester since my financial aid package has been revoked and with my luck, the appeal will be rejected. I am overwhelmed, to say the least.
I tend to overload myself to keep busy, because I don't do well with idle time. I need to have a bunch of things going on to keep myself from getting bored or distracted by the regular routine. The problem, of course, is that I inevitably bite off more than I can chew and make myself sick trying to keep up with myself, but it all works out somehow in the end. It just doesn't help me relax, and actually causes more stress. For example, I am carrying 20 credits this semester plus a 4 credit independent study project that has been carried over from the summer. I'm also the President of the Pride Alliance, the Coalition for Women's Rights, and the Political Science Students Association in addition to my hairbrained idea to start an LSAT Prep Club two weeks ago. So, being the President of 4 clubs and a member of about 5 others is a lot of fun, but also a lot of work. I am too committed to all of them to cut back on anything, so I just add it to the long list of things I need to do. I usually handle everything pretty well, but every once in a while major priorities for each thing fall in the same week and I go nuts trying to make sure everything gets done, and well. This is one of those weeks. Actually, one of those months. Law school applications have taken more time than I anticipated, and even though I started preparing really early, there are countless little last-minute things to finish before sending everything off and, in so doing, losing what little control I have over this whole process.
I know I need to just get a grip on myself and let go of the material I'm sending, but it is pretty scary putting all of my hopes and dreams for our future in the hands of nameless, faceless admissions committees across the country. I'll never stop making minor adjustments though, so I have committed myself to sending everything out tomorrow. Hence, the finalization freak-out today.
By now it should be apparent that I should not be blogging right now. I'm going to go get some things done, now that I've berated myself sufficiently.